Celebrity Jeopardy: Turd Ferguson Strikes Back!

This is FTR2006, back with another Pasta guaranteed to either bore you, or ROFLMAO you. Sorry I haven't been active in a long time. I'm not only busy, I'm also bored & lazy too. Hopefully this makes up for some lost time.

The Greatest Episode Ever
Trebeck: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Before we start I just want to tell the producers that they can go burn in hell for making my life a total mishap. That being said let's take a look at the scores. In last place we have Lil' Wayne with Negative 500 points.

Wayne: Weezy...

Trebeck: Umm... OK then. Can you say anything other than tha-

Wayne: WEEZY!!!

Trebeck: I feel sorry for you. In Second we have Johnny Cage with 10 dollars.

Cage: Ya know, I could be filming "Cage Match" Right now, but since my producers aren't paying me enough to be a Kung-Fu Action Hero, I chose to do this instead, so can you please hurry up with this so I don't have to punch your testicles out of your mouth?

Trebeck: No comment. And Oh, lucky me. We have Sean Connery once again.

Connery: I would never miss the opportunity of a lifetime, Trebeck. I enjoy this more than I enjoy pleasuring your mother with my mile long golden bullet.

Trebeck: God please, let me have a heart attack. Better luck to all of you in the next round. The categories are: Potent Potables, Famous Billboards, Shows that end in "Squarepants", Carpel-tunnel (Which is about video games), Paris Hilton, and finally, Identity Frauds. Mr. Connery, we will unfortunately give you control of the board.

Connery: AH, I accept your challenge! I'll take Famous Bimbos for 400.

Trebeck: That's BILLBOARDS, Mr. Connery. And the answer is, "This billboard, known for advertising Yahoo with a motel stylizing is located in a major city in Silicone Valley."

* Wayne Buzzez in*

Trebeck: Lil' Wayne.

Wayne: *Inhales* WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trebeck: As obnoxious as that sounded, It is incorrect. My ears are still ringing, thank you very much.

* Connery Buzzez*

Trebeck: Mr. Connery.

Connery: Alaska.

Trebeck: That is absolutely wrong. *Time runs out* And no one got it. The answer was San Francisco.

Connery: No, Trebeck. Alask' your mother to spred em' out after the show. *Laughs Hysterically*

Trebeck: My Mother passed away Three Months ago you insensitive... Ughhh, Words cannot express how annoyed I am with you right now.

Connery: Oh, silly me. No wonder I forgot to bring extra lube to her grave.

Trebeck: *sighs* Mr. Cage, pick a category so we can finish this. I am "very" concerned with your tight schedule.

Cage: Wait... What was that? I can't hear you over the sound of me being a gazillion times better than you.

Trebeck: Ughh... Let's just go with Carpel-tunnel for 1200. And the answer is, "Fill In The Blank. John Carlton is a fictional character in the Mortal Kombat fighting games who goes under the nick name _____" Mr. Cage, If you get this wrong, Lord have mercy.

* Wayne buzzez*

Trebeck: Wayne... Hold on a sec. Burt Reynolds? Oh, I'm sorry. Turd Ferguson?

Reynolds: Get it right Trebeck. Oh yeah. Wayne left all he said was Weezy.

Trebeck: So you're gonna take over?

Reynolds: Yeah taking over the world tomorrow. Wanna Join?

Trebeck: That's not what I meant.

* Cage Buzzez in*

Trebeck: Yes, Mr. Cage.

Cage: Oh, Oh, Oh, I know. Spongebob Dildohead!

Trebeck: Wrong category, Wrong answer, Mr. Cage.

Cage: Gahh... Poopy.

* Connery Buzzez*

Connery: Bruce Jenner.

Trebeck: Idiot.

* Time runs out*

Trebeck: Mr. Cage, It was you. Do I have to be Captain Obvious?

Connery: TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!

Trebeck: Fascinating. Mr. Connery, You may pick once again.

Connery: I'll end this here and now Trebeck. I'll take Iden Tity Frauds for 800.

Trebeck: *sighs* On second thought, let's just skip to Final Jeopardy. And the Category is: Your Favourite Single Number. Just write down any number as long as it's not above 10 or below 0, not even a Roman Numeral. *Timer rings* And now, let's see if you've got what it takes to annoy the crap out of yours truly. Burt Reynolds, you wrote... Nothing. As usual, you have once again proven yourself incapable of doing anything at all.

Reynolds: I am now supreme ruler of the world Trebeck now kneel before me.

Trebeck: Brilliant. Mr. Cage, you put down "Ed Boon" Don't know who that is but that is incorrect. And you wagered "Can kiss it." Astonishing. Mr Connery wrote "3". That is absolutely brilliant. You actually got it right.

Connery: Thank you, Trebeck. I tried my hardest, and all that work finally paid off.

Trebeck: Indeed it did. Now, let's see what you wagered. *An inappropriate drawing of Trebeck- (not safe for work). Connery Laughs Uncontrollably.* Ohh, Ohhhhhhhhhh god. Ohhhhhhh, why?

Connery: What's the matter? Can't you take a joke, yeh little poofter?

Trebeck: *Extremely annoyed* I AM OUT OF HERE!!! YOU PEOPLE CAN KISS MY- *Reynolds attacks Trebeck with a Rubber Baseball Bat*