Talk:Apparently probably gonna be the worst "Funnypasta" Ever../@comment-6885353-20150214174112

Well first, this seems too serious to me. The narrator of the story rants a lot and mock the quality of the game, but what else does he do? When the narrator describes how the game sucks, I suggest that he or she makes funny comparisons or metaphors. I also suggest that you elaborate more on the game because right now, even though you wrote a lot of elements, if I should compare each of the element's description to something, it would be a skeleton.

"the game had terrible grammar" describe how terrible it as, make us laugh about it.

"It had bad voice acting (etc...)" Maybe it could be a good idea to include audio bits that imitates and exaggerates this fact.

etc.

One last advice, work on your grammar, I fixed some of the mistakes for you, but you should re-read what you wrote or make a friend read it. Additionally, if you add anything, make sure it's grammatically correct. We're not asking for perfection, so don't worry about the complex rules of grammar. Before you ask, I'm not talking about the bottom section.

As you predicted, this is kind of bad 3/10. We appreciate the efforts though. I won't delete it because I think this pasta has potential and since you gave your permission to other users to contribute to this and also because it's a WIP. However, time isn't an ally of yours, but merely a dying friend, in other words, hurry before I or another admin decides of it's due death.