The Dark Alley

It was midnight.

I just finished the visit to my parents and was walking home to my little flat, when suddenly, I heard a noise that sounded like a woman's bone-chilling scream. It was coming from a dark alley. Was this someone being mugged? Someone being kidnapped? Someone being...murdered?

Curiously, I walked into the alley, only to find a locked door. The woman was obviously in there. I was just about to stop and walk away, feeling guilty about not being able to help...until I remembered putting a stray bobby pin in my jacket. I was able to successfully pick the lock and go in deeper. The more I strayed into the building, the darker it got.

And then I stumbled upon it. A whole room filled with human remains. Organs, torsos, limbs, whatever you could find in your body, the room displayed all of it. And in the middle of all of it, was a man in a gas mask holding a butcher's knife. He didn't seem to notice me yet. Taking the opportunity to wander in, I noticed that the organs were not fake...they were all taken from unsuspecting victims, presumably by the man in the mask.

The man quickly turned towards me. "Oh god, oh Jesus fuck, what the hell is this?" I yelled, looking around at what I could see, before noticing that he was standing right in front of me.

"Are those eyeballs seriously 2 dollars per eye? What a ripoff!" I told him.

"Well, yeah," he replied. "Business is hard. No one wants to come down here. It's some inane bullshit about not wanting to get mugged. But, hey, for the past few weeks we've been running fifty percent discounts. It's now 1 dollar per eye. 25 cents if you want it to be a color other than blue."

I asked him, "How much do you charge for 2 arms and 2 legs?"

"25 dollars," he gleefully answered. He could tell this was his lucky day.

"Well, good sir, I shall happily give you the cost you desire!" I yelled, slamming 25 dollars onto the counter.

"Please tone it down, sir," he quietly said.

And so I went home with 4 limbs in my possession, to show it to my girlfriend as a souvenir. I could remember coming home, knocking on her door, and seeing her surprised face when I showed her the good gifts I had gotten.

She was less than impressed.