Mario's Average Creepy Video Game of Doom!

"The kid who had this video game died... or had a seizure that blasted him to the moon! "

- Old Dude

Chapter 1 - The Retarded Video Game
I was shopping at Cheap Crap Mart. I wanted some toilet paper. But there was this really average Creepypasta old guy selling video games.

" I has good game!" said the man. He looked 90% Lolcat. I bought a videogame from him. He said that the kid who had it died, or had a seizure that blasted him to the moon (read the quote)!

So I went home and put it in my DatBoi Advance. I saw Mario.

"It's a me, a Retardio!" said Mario, " I'ma scary!". Retardio exploded and blood went everywere. The real mario came on the stage. "What the crap who killed Retardio?" said Mario, " I used to scam him in Counter Crap!".

I wanted to play as Mario. So I pressed start and pressed the Right Button.

"What the freaking crap?" said Mario, " Why are you pressing that button you werido?

"Let me play the game!" I said.

"Ok this game is haunted go hide in a box or something," I was not convinced.

"Is this a joke or something?" I wondered. I tried to make him jump.

Mario combusted into blood. He respawned.

Mario said, " Thats the explosion button you werido!"

Retardio appeared and the screen turned black. I heard Mario say, " WHY THE HECK DID YOU SPILL BLACK BEAN SOUP ON THE SCREEN  RETARDIO!"

He wiped the mess and started, "The Scariness".

Chapter 2, The Scariness!
Mario turned bloody. Actually Retardio took MS Paint and crapped it on Mario.

Mario took out a knife. "COUNTER CRAP TIME!"

I screamed! I found a boulder on top of my neighbors house and threw it at my Datboi Advance. I threw the game into the ocean. I realized that I crushed my house. That game was cursed. Actually I was overreacting and being retarded. So I decided to tell the crappy guy in front of Cheap Crap Mart.

The guy was not there. There was a note that said,

"HA RETARD - Mario"

Mario was stalking me. So I found my boulder and lived under it.

The Stupid End
I looked out under my rock. It was 2020 where hoverboards actually flew and Kanye was president.

I saw a hologram of Miyamoto. He said, " BUY MY RETAR-DS!"

I screamed again and took my boulder. I rolled it around the Earth and everything was crushed.

" RIP everyone, 2016, and also Kanye West, Miyamoto Hologram, and The Main Character"

- The Grave carved from the boulder.