Chapter One: The Speech

1987 the 25th of June - Or as I like to say, the 56th of May.

So it was the 56th of May, and Stephen was writing Michael's speech for running School Board. The election was tomorrow, so he needed to write fast. But Stephen was getting twitchy, and needed something to calm him down. So he grabbed his lighter, and his sandwich bag of nyaope.

Nyaope; Ni - ope - e

A South African street drug--actually called "Whoonga" - used to medicate sick patients. But the drug is very powerful, as it is a mixture of Marijuana, cocaine, meth and HIV medication. Patients often die from this specific medication.

Stephen rolled his joint of nyaope, and inhaled like Kirby on steroids. "Ahh, damn!" He moaned, as he softly dragged his finger nails across his left knee cap. "Dis shit is amAZing!" He moaned, again. He was freaking out, kanye would say that he was 'trippin', but Stephen isn't uncoordinated.

7:00 AM.

Stephen fell asleep the night before, it was too much nyaope to handle. He looked at the computer he was typing the speech into, and he gasped. It looks like he attempted to write the speech, while he was high off the nyaope. The first paragraph said, "Yeaa, ill tak kare of da politcs in dis skool. Kuz dats wut u goottaa do maaaaaaannn..."

"OH GOD." Stephen screamed at the top of his smooth, pink, flesh colored lungs. Michael barged in with his 10 foot cock in his zipped-pants. "Hello Stephen!" He screached. "IS MY SPEECH DONE?" - "Uhhhhhhh" Stephen began. "Yes?" Michael asked. "Uhhhh.." - "Go on?" - "Uhh..." - "STEPHEN, IS IT DONE?!" HE SAID IN CAPS. "Well see, I kinda, sort of, got... high." - "Oh." Michael replied, "I see..." - "W.. Well what about the speech?" He asked, then walked over to the computer and read the first line of the second paragraph. "Polikz is da meenin of lyfe....-" - "AHH GOD!!!" Michael grabbed the computer, and threw it across the room. "Uhh, what do we do, man?" Stephen asked. "Ah, shit! I think... I think I know someone who can help us.

Chapter Two: Jim Hamslice

Jim was a friend of Michael in college. He knew how to, and what to do, anytime! He knew just what you need, for just about any situation. Stephen was still having occasional hallucinations, but he was definitely still high from last night.

Michael knocks on Jim's door, and Jim opens it saying "Hi, faggot." In a bold, deep voice. Michael replies, "Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Oh My God Please Help Me-" - "Shut the fuck up, and come in."

Meanwhile, Stephen thinks that Jim, is actually Jimi Hendrix. He's got his guitar strapped to his back, and he's blac- "So what do you need, Mike?" - "Stephen here, got totally baked last night on nyaope, when he was supposed to be writing my speech!"

"What the fuck? First of all, can I have some nyaope? Second, why is he supposed to be writing your speech?"

"Yea I got some back at Mike's flat" Stephen said. "Shut up, Stephen" Michael began, "Look, Jim, I need this! You are a poetic genius! You can write this speech before 3:30 right?"

"Okay, you guys come back in 2 hours." Jim said. "Jimi Hendrix! Can I have autograph! Can you sign my ass? PLEASE?!" - "Ew fuck off-"

And so Michael and Stephen went out into Jim's neighborhood, just to look around. Stephen pointed out a man dressed as a woman, beating up some kid saying, "You ruined my abortion!" - "Well, you hungry, Stephen?" - "Nah, I rather help this women over here."

Stephen came over to the woman, beating the kid, and said, "Yea! Get him!" - She looked at him and then stabbed him right in his chest. She then said, "Don't tell me what to do." In a Joe Swanson - Frank Sinatra kinda' voice.

Chapter Three: Final Chapter

"Oh my god, Stephen, are you okay?"


"I know, but, are you... okay?"


"What happened?"


Michael began punching Stephen in his face, one fist after another, and again, and again, and agai-

"Sir, you can't beat up the patients." One of the nurses said.

"...mkay" Michael softly replied.

Jim Hamslice arrived at the hospital that Mike and Steve were at. He walked up to Michael and said, "I finished the speech, here it is."

"Dude, Stephen has been stabbed" Michael replied.

"Cool, I'll see you later, Mike." Jim obviously didn't listen to what Michael said, but I don't think he would've cared anyway.

"...Michael" Stephen whispered.

"What is it, Stephen?"

"I want you to have this" He pulled out a broken iPod from his pocket. "It's a little dirty, but you can probably take it to a website that'll buy for it about 6 dollars.

"..." - Michael.